Helpless | Autism PDD

I do think martial arts treats that as well, it's part of the discipline. [QUOTE=shenom] Have you considered martial arts? I've heard really good
things about it for kids on the spectrum. Helps with both coordination/
muscle control as well as self-esteem. I'm signing both my kids up for a
class in the Fall. [/QUOTE]
what about impulse control?? We've sometimes thought about a martial art
for Sam, but he has very poor impulse control, and I don't want to make him
more dangerous than he already is, especially to his sisters.

I do not care for competitive sports for young children.

However, there are private places near us, that offer cheerleading / tumbling / dance lessons whithout the sense of competition ... anything like that near you, that she could try? she may find out there are more fun ways to spend her time, or maybe she will get into it!

We participate in Miracle League here in North Texas, so I wanted to add my 2 cents about that. In my town, Miracle League offers baseball, of course, but also soccer, bowling and yep, CHEERLEADING! In fact, they found some very generous sponsors, and the cheerleading camp will be free, with uniforms and pom poms provided for the kids (the other sports have minimal fees, usually -35 per season). Miracle League is wonderful. I would definitely see if it is available in your community.

Your daughter sounds like a sweetheart and you sound like a great mom

I would definitely look for areas in which she can shine - so as to bolster her self esteem

That is one if the things that stuck in my head after reading Thinking in Pictures - that parennst must also focus on strengths to support self esteem of their spectrum kids

A few stray thoughts...

My son just turned 9, and we've been struggling to find an activity for him (not many options in our small town). We ended up with Family Scouting -- we all go, and the kids love it. It exists in America, but not everywhere. We're "lucky" that my son isn't acutely aware of his differences yet, so his self-esteem is still good.

I did cheerleading, and made the team easily in junior high, but in senior high the existing cheerleaders were the judges, so it got to be very cliquish. My Mom hated audition season, because I always ended up disappointed.

When I was 6, I wanted to play piano, and I thought it would be as easy as Liberace made it look.

Kim Possible (Disney channel hero) does cheerleading, and might be an inspiration. If so, Kim also "saves the world", so some sort of community service activity might have an appeal.

Miracle League is a baseball league for kids with "physically and mentally challenged" kids (including girls) http://www.miracleleague.com/

There's also a "Challenger League" for special needs kids.

Good luck with everything.

is there a message board for middle school girls on here?

You can always do what I do...become the Brownie Leader

Aloha, Renee

Wow this is so familiar ....the part about knowing how different they are compared to their peers....the sadness the tears the isolation

It was suggested to me that we try swimming or music lessons or tae-k-won-doe

Here we have a para-olympic association that sets up programs for kids that are different
Do u have anything like that there?
Do u have a autism society foundation nearby? this is where i got my info.

Hugs to you and your dd i know how this hurts
Hello,
I haven't been here for a while but today I just need to share my feelings. My daughter is 8yrs old and has PDD-NOS. She came home so excited from school yesterday with a pamphlet about Pee Wee Football cheerleading. She so wants to do it. Now her gross motor skills are not that of a typical 8yr old girl and this is a competitive type thing. Why does everything have to be competitive!!?? Anyway, rather than setting her up to fail, I called to inquire as to what is involved. While the woman I spoke to was really nice, she basically said that they had another girl with PDD a few years back and it did not go well. She told me nicely in so many words that it's not for my daughter. My husband and I explained to our daughter that they want girls who have gymnastic and dance experience. We didn't want to lie to her, but we couldn't say you shouldn't do it because you have PDD!! She is devastated and has been crying all night. I finally just got her to bed. I've tried to tell her that she can take dance lessons, gymnastics etc....but she has such low self esteem, all she can say is that she is too dumb to do anything and that she doesn't fit in anywhere. She is so painfully aware of her PDD and she knows that she's "different" from the other girls and can't seem to cope lately. I keep reassuring her that I know there's something out there for her, but nothing I say seems to help. I feel so helpless that I can't just make her happy and find some great activity that she'll love and be good at. It breaks my heart to see her so disappointed and crying. I held her until she fell asleep and now I am having a good cry of my own. Thanks for listening. It helps just knowing that I'm not the only parent going through these things. I've yet to find any other girls locally with a similar condition so I feel very isolated at times

Poor thing. (((HUGS))) And I'm sorry you feel so isolated.

I think you did the absolutely right thing in calling to find out what was involved. I was a cheerleader in elementary/jr high, and when we had tryouts there were 50 - 60 girls trying for 12 spots and everyone sat in the bleachers and were called down 1 by 1 to cheer for the judges. Not sure how it works at your school, but at ours EVERYONE watched everyone else try out. If anyone messed up, or was really uncoordinated, it was out there for the world to see (and make fun of later). LOTS of girls in tears after tryouts. LOTS of humiliation. If you don't think she was going to cut it, and she has self-esteem issues, keeping her out of this was a good move.

What are your daughters strenghts/weaknesses?

What is her passion?

What does she want to be when she grows up?

Hi halfpint's mom, I have a similar situation, though my girls are too young too know that they are different. They also have poor gross motor development and I doubt cheerleading is in their future. I'm saddended to read your post, but I agree with Kristy that it was the righ call. I'll stay tuned to thsi thread, because I'm sure I'll be there some day.

FWIW, Cross Country is a team sport that usually takes all comers. I don't think school have an X-Country team until middle school, but it's the only thing I can think of right now. I was on my HS x-country team and loved it and running is something that I still do and is an important part of my life.

Thanks for your kind words. Her weakness is definitely any type of physical sport in a team setting.

A. She just doesn't have the coordination and athletic
ability.
B. Her social skills are mediocre so she usually ends
up arguing with other kids.

But she is really bright, loves to read, ride her bike (which thankfully she can do!) She is sweet and kind.
She never really expresses any one passion and I've asked her what she wants to be when she grows up, but she says she doesn't know.

Would your daughter be interrested in girl scouts? My 9 year-old son is not destined to be a member of a team sport, but he loves scouting. He is also thinking about trying some sort of martial arts class.

I'm sorry- it is so hard to see your kid struggle. Do you think it was the
cheerleading she wanted or was it that it was something that just looked
'so normal' like it would prove to her that she fits in.
My 7 year old boy with pdd has been struggling especially since his
school thinks it is a good motivator to have kids compete against each
other. He comes home so discouraged because no matter how hard he
tries he does not measure up. I have been so angry at the school setting
him up to fail like that over and over. But he has also come home lately
saying 'I am just really different from other kids' and he does not say it in
an entirely unhappy way. I usually smile and say 'yes you are'. My greatest
hope for my son (and my two NT daughters) is to come to know and love
himself for who he is, strengths and weaknesses. It helps when they find
a nitch, something they enjoy and are good at. She is a Brownie, but is discouraged because there is one girl in the troop who is ruthless to her. I've told the leader, who disagrees with me, so we're gonna skip the last meeting of the year and hope for a new troop in the fall. She did like it until this other child started being so mean to her. My daughter can't sit still, walks in circles and flaps her hands like crazy when she gets excited and it really bugs this other girl who of course at 8 years old herself just thinks my daughter is just plain weird. I'm sorry to hear about the brownie situation. I hope she can get in a new troop next year, especially since she liked it.WIMomOf239239.8609259259((hugs)) I can only imagine how difficult it is for you and your dd. I know I'll probably face something similar down the road when my girl gets a little older.

I know girls are drawn to cheerleading but I think martial arts is a wonderful choice that you could look into. It teaches them lots of skills the most important being self defense. Good luck.
Have you considered martial arts? I've heard really good things about it for kids on the spectrum. Helps with both coordination/muscle control as well as self-esteem. I'm signing both my kids up for a class in the Fall.

I agree x-country takes all comers. I did x-country from ages 8 - 14 through a club in our town (not associated with school). I didn't do it in HS because I could only play one sport (had to work other 9 months of the year) and I picked softball.

Other good sports that tend to take all comers (and have private lessons available to build skills away from critical eyes, which eliminates the self-conscious factor) are swimming, karate and golf.

A great, non-sports related way to build self-esteem is community service. I personally think that nothing makes a person feel better than helping others. Have you looked into girl scouts, or an outreach program, maybe something through the local YMCA? How about hiking/camping? It's a great way to enjoy an outdoor activity without playing a sport. My boys love biking too and we just did our first offroad biking trip a two weeks ago and they loved it.

Just brainstorming ideas here. I wish there was something I could do to help lessen her disappointment.

and I had a blast:P

Good luck:)

WOW! Thanks for all the great ideas. I really like the
idea of the Miracle League. I've never heard of it here in the Northeast. I'll have to investigate that further. My daughter decided yesterday that she would like the play the flute and I was estatic that she finally decided on something, but unfortunately she started up about the cheerleading again last night.
But I'm going to keep encouraging the flute anyway.

Hugs to you. My DD is a 1st grader and likes the idea of playing sports. But, when we have taken her to watch, she says NO WAY! I think she likes the idea of being a cheerleader (just like Kim Possible), but when she saw it in action, she changed her mind.

We have been talking about putting her in a karate class at the local church. It seems the least stress, more individual activity. The dance classes are much noisier then the karate classes.

I am sorry you are going through this!

just a thought, but have you tried Horseriding??

Non competative, she doesn't HAVE to rely on a team but it can bring about great friendships with other little riders and she can develop a trust in herself and her skills with an animal that she doesnt need to "read social skills" from. I am not on the spectrum myself but was a very shy child and found horseriding to be a great way to build up self esteem without having to put myself out there in front of heaps of people.